


An Attempt

by TheHuskyDragon



Series: Unfortunate Partners [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Canon-Typical Violence, Deviancy (Detroit: Become Human), Deviant Upgraded Connor | RK900, Enemies to Friends, Eventual Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gavin Reed's pets, Graphic Description of Wounds, Handcuffs, Hospitals, Hurt Gavin Reed, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Inappropriate Erections, Internal Conflict, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Slow Burn, Soft Upgraded Connor | RK900, Swearing, THATS A TAG??, Temporary Character Death, Thirium (Detroit: Become Human), aka the fic that rk900 takes care of gavin, connor gets fucked but only slightly, hes ok dont worry, i mean that’s the goal, ive moste likely forgotten a tag or two guess ill die, sumo gets a mention is that important, their on the 'friends to lovers' road but... not quite there yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-05 08:50:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15860280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHuskyDragon/pseuds/TheHuskyDragon
Summary: [Sequel of Deviant Proof]After Richard saves Gavin from the explosion, he's taken the responsibility of helping Gavin treat his wounds, whether Gavin likes it or not.Gavin swears he hates the android.





	1. When you Die (part 2)

**Author's Note:**

> remember to do research for a chapter BEFORE you intend to write it kids, also reread you stuff or youll hate it in the morning lol

Gavin heard the gun fire before the bullet embedded itself into his forehead. Unable to do anything else, his limp body fell to the floor. The machine stood above him, glaring down at his bleeding corpse.

 

“My apologies, Gavin,” The state-of-the-art android said, completely emotionless, “I suppose you were right…” He reloaded the gun and adjusted his jacket as if nothing had happened, “When you said I don’t feel anything.”

  
  


It felt like the hard concrete below him was made of solid lava. Encasing his entire body and inside any space it could fill. It felt like his lungs were clawing at itself to scratch some itch and he thrashed around as much as he could. The lava covering him, sticking to his melting skin--

 

He called out, even if it felt like every muscle in his body screamed at him to stop, and tried to move somehow—tried to do something—

 

Until he felt hands. Hands holding him down and flickering between different places on his body at light speed. It felt like anytime his body was touched that the lava would reignite his body. How many hands were there? Who did the hand belong to? He didn’t want anyone to touch him. Even if they felt like cool ice against his burning skin, he just wanted— something, not-not this.

 

He tried to lift his hands but it felt as if the heat surrounding him wrapped around his hands in tendrils and sunk itself deep until it met bone. Crawled itself further til it was through and through.

 

His name was being called-- wasn’t it? Yeah- fuck-- it was, by some familiar voice. Who the fuck was it? Was- Was it--

 

“ _ Detective Reed _ ,” the title was unintentionally spat but it was grounding, ebbing away the pain and his racing heartbeat. Destroying any memory of his dream.  _ What dream? _ “Gavin.  _ Open your eyes _ .”

 

Peeling his eyes open felt just as difficult as focusing on anything to begin with. The first thing he saw (though, “saw” seemed like an overstatement) was Richard, hanging over him like he always does, a tense look on his face

 

No. Wait. Gavin was laying down on his back and Richard was looking at him, around the room. What was he looking at? He wanted to look around but moving felt like his body was going to explode.

 

Explode… explosion... Fire…

 

The memories of the house and the murder and the children, fuck, the pain from the explosion suddenly flared up in his mind. Gavin couldn’t remember the pain itself, but the- the dread and the way his body reacted was still embedded in his memory, the feeling of the fire melting his skin and burning through any part of his body it could reach. He groaned. Maybe. Maybe he didn’t even make a sound or maybe he was still asleep. Or maybe he’s dead. He wishes he was dead.  _ Fuck. _

 

He was still out of it when a nurse, or someone, came in. Maybe she replaced his IV bag or whatever the fuck but eventually Gavin was passed out again.  _ Thank god. _

 

 

* * *

He didn’t want to open his eyes when he awoke again. When he twitched his hands, he felt… someone holding it. Random, fuzzy memories of other people that Gavin once liked reappeared in his mind and left his heart fluttering, but realizing that it was Richard who was holding his hand, had him opening his eyes whether he wanted to or not.

 

“Richie..?”

 

The android’s hand squeezed tighter, just the slightest bit. If Gavin wasn’t only focusing on his whole body and how weirdly numb it was, he’d probably had missed it. 

 

God. He wished he was dead. The numbness only went so far and patches of his body thrummed with a dull ache. He wishes he was asleep. Then, he wouldn’t feel anything. He could just… he didn’t know.

 

He heard the bot to the side of him say something through the grogginess. He turned his head as much as he could and mumbled something. He thinks. Why can’t he focus on anything?  _ God this sucks _ . Why… Why was it so hard to move? He wonders how much damage his body got from the explosion, where the bomb was. How long has he been out? He barely remembers waking up earlier and wonders how much he’s forgotten. Shit… how long had he been here?

 

His cats… “Cats…” He rasps out, hears the fabric of Richard’s jacket as he moves, “my cats…” He tries to clear his throat, cringes instead. Fuck. Did he swallow sandpaper? And his--his-

 

“Yes. Your cats are alright. And your snake.”

 

Yes, that. He was going to ask next about her, yeah. Did Richard know how to feed her? Did he feed her? How the hell did he even take care of her? Or either of his cats? God, “I’m so… tired…” Maybe he had kept his eyes open. Maybe he didn’t. But either way, he felt his eyelids flutter when a hand cupped his jaw, the feeling of skin-against-skin muffled. His face was most likely bandaged. He would have dwelled on his injuries more if the warm, welcoming embrace of unconsciousness wasn’t tugging at him.

 

“It’s alright. Go back to sleep,” and he did.

 

 

* * *

The next time he awoke, he was able to focus on one thing a lot more. Which means he could focus more on the ebbing pain in his body. He groans and turns his head, remembers that he couldn’t do that last time and remembers how its bandaged.

 

He looks over to the android. Richard looks damn identical to the last time he awoke, but that was just from his normal bot-ness probably. Anywhere from a minute to a week could have passed, is what it feels like.

 

“You are awake,”

 

He didn’t mean conscious, “Unfortunately.”

 

His throat still felt like it was made of sandpaper. He coughs and regrets it immediately. He wheezed as his lungs struggled to work. His lungs itched and it felt like damn  _ spiderwebs  _ had grown inside him while he was out of it. How long was he asleep?

 

“How do you feel, Gavin?”

 

There was something about the android saying his first name that was very…  _ off-putting _ . As if it shouldn’t happen or something.

 

“Like shit,” Making it his new goal to talk as little as possible, he asked, “the fuck are you doing here?”

 

“With both of us excused from our jobs, I have been granted the responsibility of watching over you.”

 

“I don’t need a personal nurse, thank you.” He resists the urge to clear his throat, reasons with his brain that it’ll only do more damage than anything. “ _ Fuck _ .”

 

The cuss would’ve been spat had Gavin been so exhausted. Whatever they were pumping into him probably did mask a lot of the pain but it also fucked with everything else. Heh, he almost wishes he was an android himself, able to switch off whether he can feel pain or not. Is that how they work? He’d have to ask Richard that someday. 

 

He wanted to continue to sleep but it seemed like the android had different plans. “You have been in the hospital for just under a week. I will take you home and continue to monitor you until you are healed enough.”  

 

“Fuck you. Fuck that.”

 

“That is not an offer. I will not let your wasted potential go wasted even more if you die. You do  _ not  _ know how to properly clean your wounds.”

 

God. It wasn’t just… that  _ easy _ . To accept Richard’s fucking orders. He couldn’t go from fucking hating the shit out of androids to having one _ take  _ motherfucking  _ care of him _ . Why couldn’t he understand that? Sure he didn’t know batshit on how to keep his wound from getting infected or wherever the fuck, but that’s what Google was for, goddamnit. He groaned low enough in his throat that it didn’t hurt much, and wanted to fucking die. Wasted potential his fucking ass.

 

 

* * *

The nurse came in just a few minutes later to get Gavin ready for the road. The nurses and Richard had done plenty of the work while Gavin was out of it. Humans and their sensitive, irreplaceable bodies were so weirdly  _ fascinating  _ to the android. What would it be like, only having one life? Complex emotions? Having to eat and manually take care of the body? The human grumbled below the androids as they hoisted him up. Perhaps he didn’t remember the last time they attempted to have him walk because he seemed surprised he could do so so easily.

 

The nurse, after removing any drip from his body, held out her hand to interface with him. Doing so, he was given the instructions on how to clean and rewrap Gavin’s bandages. Once he let go, she began to replace them herself while they were here. The majority of his left body had been damaged, and therefore, covered in off-white fabric. The entirety of his left leg, barring his foot, had been wrapped up, and as the nurse removed it he could see the blistering, red skin. The edges of the relatively unaffected skin flaking off. Surely if Richard was human, he’d gag.

 

But he  _ wasn’t _ , and he found Gavin’s body’s reaction  _ interesting _ .

 

Gavin turned his head away and winced as the burns on his neck and right cheek re-announced themselves. The nurse loosely wrapped his leg, knowing Richard’s intent to bathe Gavin, later. Next, she moved to his arm. His forearm and hand had been most affected and his upper arm had only slight burns and was only still red from the fires. The skin was about as bad as his leg, blistering and a patchy red under the stained bandages. Very small patches over his body bore blackened skin that would soon fall off in the worst places. If Richard did a good enough job in helping Gavin heal, then there would only be pale reminders of the nightmare of the mission. 

 

Richard wished dearly that it was a nightmare, that robots dreamt at all. His newfound deviancy left him feeling lost and out of control. He had yet to tell anybody that it had happened but he loathed the impending chastising from Amanda. He could still hear her disappointment from when he broke down the wall of code. Perhaps he’d go to Markus first. He’d know what to do, wouldn't he? He was another RK model...

 

That’d have to be for later. Right now, he had to take care of the human. Taking care of him would keep the android’s mind busy until he was ready to handle his problems.

 

The nurse carefully unraveled the wrappings from Gavin’s neck. He chose to keep his eyes shut the entire time, not bothering to look at his own wounds. She kept the bandages off, determining that the wounds neck up were fine uncovered. Already, there was the faintest patch of pale, thick skin that covered his cheek and neck. Worse case scenario, he’d have to stretch his jaw to stretch the skin a bit.

 

Once the nurse was finished and finalized anything else, she gave the two of them the go-ahead to leave. Unceremoniously, Richard leaned down to pick Gavin up.

 

Gavin absolutely did  _ not _ enjoy being picked up. Richard had tried to do so as painlessly as possible, but his total injuries make it impossible to be completely painless. Surely if he had his gun, the android would have a new hole in him.

  
  


* * *

Richard drew a warm bath, and while he waited for the tub to fill he went out to the living room. Gavin was flooding his cats with adoration. For once they seemed to not fight over him and both rub against his face. Richard should stop him, in case the shed fur got into his wounds. His head suddenly shot up and he limped his way toward the counter, where a box lay. Richard had reluctantly let him down so he could pick it up. It was a plain white cardboard box with a sticky-note attached.

 

_ “Heard you were coming home today, hope Danger Noodle needs this _

_ ;)” _

 

It was scrawled in barely legible letters and going by the smell, it seemed to be a rat. So that’s what his snake’s name was. When Richard had checked around the apartment a day after the incident, he went into his room. Not like he’d know, or probably care. It was a simple ball python, a good few years old. He’s not surprised that he had chosen that name. Though, going by the nicknames he has for his cats (Dipshit and Asswad, respectfully), the snake had some nickname too. He wondered what it was, but kept his mouth shut. 

 

He took a knife and the box and limped his way towards his room. Richard followed and was curious as to why Gavin had actually let him in. He was reminded of the bath nearly ready. Gavin opened the cage, carefully shutting off and taking off the lights, before setting the top aside and pulling the hide the snake lay in.

 

“ _ Reed _ ,”

 

“Gimme this, Dickwad,”

 

He decided to humor him as he dumped the rat-- albino, relatively small-- into the cage and stepped away. He had left the top open and, sure enough, the ball python lunged at the rat and coiled around it, killing it eventually with its powerful muscles. Richard did have plenty of basic information regarding snakes, but seeing one in action was  _ exhilarating _ . He would have kept watching her if Gavin hadn't stood up.

 

“Well?”

 

“Right,”

  
  
  


The bath was fairly uneventful, but Gavin would be lying if he said it didn’t feel… nice. It was still ridiculously difficult to admit that, even to himself. Richard was an android, and even if Gavin had suspicions on whether or not Richard had turned deviant, he just couldn’t believe that he’d actually liked him. At all. You don’t just--  _ like  _ someone like Gavin for any good reason. He was just a damn bot, ordered to be his fucking partner.  _ And nurse apparently. _

 

Any feelings Gavin had had, he’d just push further down until it was evident that Richard didn’t have reciprocating feelings. Just like fucking always. Because he fuckin didn’t. There’s no damn  _ way  _ that he did.  _ Why would he? _ Androids don’t feel batshit,  _ especially  _ Richard.

 

Richard had been re-wrapping the human while he debated with himself. He did exactly what the nurse did and laid him back in bed. He glanced over at the snake cage. She was threatening to slither out of the tank, now full of one rat. She stared right through Richard with her beady eyes.

 

He stood up and put the top back on before turning the lights on. By the time Richard stood up and turned around, the detective had turned to his side. Was he asleep already? He began to head out of the room before the human spoke up.

 

“Wait can you--” He paused as the android turned around, “Can you… stay here… with me?”

 

He could hear the immediate regret in his voice, and before Gavin could change his mind, he closed the door and began to take off his jacket. He folded it and set it on the end of the bed. He crawled under the covers with the detective. When he first wrapped his arms around him, Gavin tensed, but with a sigh, he eventually relaxed. In what felt like no time, Richard noticed he had fallen asleep.

 

Humans are so  _ interesting _ . 


	2. The Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin had wandered off, later in the day. Richard was lucky enough to find him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was... really hard to write. long story short i just wasn'tin the writing mood i guess. i also have a cat on my lap lol

When Gavin woke up, he was… surprised to find the android actually fucking slept with him all night. Also that he slept all fucking day.

 

God. He’d really asked Richie that huh?

 

...Richie? Fucking  _ Richie _ ? Is he fucking kidding? What the  _ fuck _ ??

 

When he looked at the clock, it was already two P.M. Jesus fuck. Gavin hasn’t slept this long since fucking high school.  _ What  _ the  _ fuck _ .

 

He would totally have stayed in bed until the android awoke but his entire body just… hurt. He’d probably slept like a fucking rock under… the android’s… arm. Ew.

 

The android was still motionless when he pulled himself out of bed, joints creaking. He was in considerable pain from his burn wounds but fuck that, honestly. He opened the door and stepped around his cats (the fucker locked them out for the night) and headed to the bathroom to take a piss. It would’ve been peaceful if it hadn't been for his fucking cats. God damn, he loved them.

 

When he went back to the bedroom, the android hadn’t moved an inch. Gavin would have thought that Richard had fuckin died or some shit. A quick, close glance at his slowly pulsing LED proved otherwise.  _ Shame _ . He looked over to his snake, except she was sleeping soundly (soundlessly?) in one of her hides.

 

He opened his closet and pulled on some loose pants and fished out a jacket. His favorite fucking jacket had been incinerated during the… explosion. It was really hard to even think about, even if he’d survived, the children there hadn’t. If he’d only gone straight outside and  _ stayed  _ outside then any of that shit wouldn't have happened. He wouldn’t be fucked up and sleeping with a motherfucking android. That’s the last damn time he plays with fucking children. Fucking hell, that was bullshit. What the fuck even was the bomb? What set it off?

 

He put on a featureless hoodie and grabbed his phone and gun. Fuck this shit if he wasn’t going to smoke or stay sober. Fuck that shit.

 

* * *

When Richard exited stasis mode, he was surprised to have been “asleep” for that long. He hadn't meant to stay in stasis so long…

 

Amanda hadn’t even contacted him at all.

 

When he ran a diagnostic, he found nothing wrong, except that something had downloaded. He had tried to find out what, but it remained unnamed and it didn’t seem like it added anything. Strange, he thought as his thirium pump fluttered. Now that was a weird feeling. Like it had…  _ itched _ . As soon as it appeared, it was gone. Richard sat up, patting the side of the bed where Gavin had slept. Going by the lack of warmth, he’d been gone for at least an hour.

 

He stepped out of the bedroom after putting his jacket on. Absentmindedly, he pets one of the cats as he sent a message to his predecessor.

 

Connor replied, telling Richard that Gavin was with the Lieutenant and him at Jimmy’s Bar. In all honesty, Richard couldn’t find out  _ why  _ Gavin would go out with them. Last he remembered, Gavin had a hatred for both of them.

  
  


He made his way to Jimmy’s Bar via taxi and stepped out. The rain hadn’t let up at all on his way there. He carefully avoided any puddles on his way to the building. The door once had a bold “No Androids Allowed” sign, going by Connor’s memories, but it was nowhere in sight. Had they really changed the policy? 

 

He stepped inside. Instantly he could feel the mood shift. 

 

The entire bar harbored warm lighting. The bar was still full even this late in the evening, though the rain was probably the reason. The smell  _ alone  _ of each drink served was able to be tasted by the android when he looked around for— ah. There he was. 

 

Beside the Lieutenant and Connor, there Detective Reed sat.

 

He was one of the many people that turned and when he saw Richard, he turned back around and thumped his head on the table.

 

Upon seeing Gavin’s distress, Hank and Connor both turned around. As Richard walked towards the trio, he could hear them chuckle.  Hank slapped Gavin on the arm before he recoiled with a scowl.

 

By the time Richard made it to the table, Gavin had pulled the hood of his jacket over his head and pulled it tight. He blindly flipped off Hank and Connor. Richard padded around to his side of the table and put a hand on Gavin’s shoulder.

 

He sunk back into his jacket and refused to address the android. Everyone else had already begun to mind their own business, not giving enough of a shit for the androids apparently.

 

“Detective, I am going to need for you to get up. We need to buy you various things.”

 

He did not budge. 

 

“ _ Detective _ .” Richard warned a smirk on his face, voice lower, “do not make me  _ pick you up _ again.”

 

Gavin shot up so fast that his chair fell back, and swayed on his feet and, for a moment, Richard nearly thought that he’d have fallen back. His face was red when he turned his heated stare at the towering android. He immediately beelined towards the door before Richard had a chance to say anything else. He said his goodbyes to Hank and Connor and followed his human.

 

_ His…  _ human.

 

“Detective, we have to buy you various items for you to heal easiest--”

 

“Fuck off, Tincan! Jesus, can’t I get some fucking time alone!? Is this what Hank felt like at first…? I’m not gonna pay for shit-”

 

He caught up to the detective and stepped in front of him. The way they were headed was not the way to the store. If they could just head over to the taxi--

 

Gavin backed up, trying to get as far away from Richard as he could. Perhaps he was expecting to back into a wall, one that he was about a foot off from, but he ended up stepping deeper into an alley. The rain still fell and puddles grew. 

 

Gavin slipped.

 

Richard, having continued to follow him, was able to snatch the front of his jacket.

 

He curled into himself as much as he could, and, going by his body language, he was probably in pain from the fast movement.

 

He got his feet under himself and sat up and continued to move backward. Richard, still curious about this human’s behavior, how odd it was, and followed him. His pace was faster, so by the time Gavin had met the far end of the alley, Richard had ventured into his personal space. He leaned down, a few inches closer to his own level. His face was still flushed and his breaths were quick and shallow.

 

“You are drunk, Gavin,” Richard said, just loud enough for Gavin to hear over the pouring rain.

 

“I’m not fuckin’-”

 

Before he could finish his sentence, Richard leaned down further and pressed his lips into Gavin’s.

 

He tried to pull back when Richard forced his tongue in his mouth, of course, he did, and in response, Richard put his hand on the back of Gavin’s neck. He tilted up the human’s head and swallowed the groan that escaped Gavin’s throat. He was only partially paying attention to the contents in his mouth--yes there was plenty of traces of alcohol-- and wholly paying attention to Gavin’s reaction. The way he clenched his eyes shut. The way he shook, not just because of the rain. He clutched at the android’s jacket. The bandage under Richard’s palm was soaked. They’d need to replace them soon.

 

And every second, his processors created countless scenarios to  _ kill Gavin _ .

 

He didn’t know  _ why,  _ though. He wasn’t a threat. Not right now, and he wasn’t an obstruction to his mission. … What  _ was  _ his mission…?

 

His mission was to… protect… Gavin Reed. Make sure he heals as best as possible. To not let infection take over--

 

Gavin clamped his jaw down on his tongue. Blue blood lazily pooled into Gavin’s mouth. His punishment wrenched a groan from his still sore throat. Richard reminded himself to buy cough medicine when they were finished. He took an extra second until he healed the wound himself.

 

There was a click. And a pressure against his front. Without pulling away, he snaked his free hand down to what appeared to be Gavin’s gun. _ At least he was safe without him. _ The gun was pressed to the edge of his Thirium pump.

 

Ever since he woke up, there’d been a strange...  _ hum  _ resonating in his body. With Gavin’s gun pressed against it, even through the fabric of his shirt, it stopped. How bizarre.

 

He pulled away, “Do not lie to me, Reed.” He really did not think of the detective as a threat. Sure, he wasn’t bulletproof, especially without his jacket protecting his vital bio-components, but in his current state, there was a very low chance of him doing any meaningful damage. 

 

Gavin’s eyes were glossed over when his gaze found Richard’s smile, pupils dilated. Richard’s own gaze was half-lidded, following every reaction that his body made.

 

Gavin pushed past the android with less than half of his strength and walked out of the alley. Richard followed suit.

 

He’ll look through the information he’d gotten later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally! fucking finally! i have waited for this chapter. 
> 
> Kudos and comments fuel me! let me know what you think of this! tum blog is "detroit-become-furry"


	3. Pork Soda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They both have their demons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow uhh. lets hope that thisll be the longest break from this fic .-. sorry yall
> 
> title is based of the glass animals song "pork soda" mm love that song

Gavin was still thinking about the “kiss” the next day. 

 

They had gotten various lotions and other things he hadn’t been assed enough to remember. Richard did, in fact, pay for everything and applied it over his wounds. Some hurt, some felt cool against his burnt skin.

 

He’d caught himself running a finger over his lips whenever he thought of the android too much. He’d wanted to smack himself every damn time. He’s just a fucking android.  _ ANDROID _ .  _ He’s your fucking PARTNER. _

 

Richard probably noticed too.  _ Of course _ , he fucking did. Gavin was eternally glad that he’d never brought it up. Like— he was the one that fucking kissed him. It was barely a fucking kiss in the first place. He was probably just— scanning his fucking mouth. Yeah. That makes… more sense... Kind of. 

 

By the time he’d gotten out of that train of thought, his heart was racing, thudding in his chest. He’s fucking  _ positive  _ that the android could see it through the corner of his eye through his shirt and loose jacket. Fuck the android and fuck anything that had happened to him. This fucker has done batshit for Gavin other than blow him the fuck up and-and  _ kiss  _ him. What. The  _ fuck _ . 

 

… then again… he did save him. From the fire, helping him heal… ugh.

 

The dickwad in question was out somewhere. If Gavin remembers correctly while not paying attention, he was out with his doppelgänger. Gavin couldn’t possibly come up with a reason why. What the hell did androids do in their free time?  _ Play minesweeper _ ?

 

The android’s been acting weird lately. Real fuckin weird. Takes just too long to respond, stares more, twitches. Maybe he just has a wire loose but the whole thing rubs Gavin the wrong way. 

 

A flash of a memory of  _ something  _ appears in his mind. A gunshot, split-second long. A trail of blood dripping into his rolled back eyes. His limp, useless body, falling to the hard concrete. Richard’s cold… emotionless voice.

 

…” _ I suppose… you were right, Gavin… _ ”...

 

The way his name sounded in the android's mouth-

 

“ _ When you… _ ”

 

Replacing the magazine now…

 

“ _...said I don’t feel anything… _ ”

 

_ \--I don’t care about you— _

  
  


He starts coughing. Hard. He can feel sticky mucus in his throat, his lungs. Tried to breath in but only makes it worse. Feels fucking  _ fire  _ in his lungs. 

 

When he stops, he’s dizzy. White dots swarming his vision and black around the corners. When he breaths, it’s a wheeze and he can feel those spider webs again. He can’t remember what he was just thinking about by knows that he does  _ not  _ want to know. His whole mood had done a 360 and gotten worse. He  _ hates  _ the fucking android.  _ Fuck _ . 

 

He rolls to the other side of the bed and tried to forget yesterday’s own wake-up as he pets his cat. She meows, her green eyes wide. 

 

 

* * *

Richard had asked for Connor to continue to teach him to be more “human”. Even past the failed mission, now that he was deviant, he wanted to at least be able to  _ act  _ like it. It was challenging.  _ You have to smile while saying this, you have to say it like this, no, you have to do this and that _ . How tiresome.

 

But he was learning. That was the important thing. Richard, state-of-the-art Android right out of Cyberlife, having to  _ learn _ . 

 

They stepped through the front door of the Lieutenant’s home. He’d been out himself and only his large Saint Bernard had been at home. Once Connor had feed him, he sat on the couch with Richard. 

 

He wouldn’t admit it, but he really was doing it for Reed. The chance of them being  _ more  _ than partners was far greater with him learning human mannerisms. He was still struggling to decipher whether the detective had reciprocated feelings. On one hand, he had a seething hatred for all androids, going by how hostile he is towards Richard and Connor. On the other hand… he didn’t really try to pull away from the kiss. 

 

Then again, he had been intoxicated. Even with how little he’d drunk and how little his personality changed, there wasn’t enough evidence to decide Gavin’s opinion on the event. 

 

He had seen him run a finger over his lips, on multiple occasions, but surely that had to be one of his normal human mannerisms. Richard’s hand twitches as he brings it up to his sleeve, adjusting it. 

 

Ah yes. That had been another thing he needed to ask Connor. Ever since he’d gone deviant, he would… malfunction. Limbs wouldn’t respond, eyes unfocused, voice box glitching out or just flat out refuse to work. It worried him. Cyberlife counted on him—  _ Amanda  _ counted on him to do his best and going deviant was a huge blow to his accountability.

 

So then why hadn’t she thrived to talk to him again?

 

He was starting to miss her. Miss her voice, her praise as he completed a mission, the garden… whenever Richard would try on his own to get to the garden, he’d only find a dark, blank emptiness. He’d tried to contact Cyberlife in general and found his systems offline. He began to wonder. 

 

What would happen if his body gets destroyed again?

 

Would he come back? Would he have to  _ fear  _ for his  _ life _ ?

 

Emotions like  _ fear  _ and  _ anticipation  _ were his least favorite part about deviancy. He  _ hated  _ how weak it made him. Such an authentic feeling felt like the plague when he ever experienced it like it would be his downfall. 

 

“You said you were having problems, Richard?”

 

Connor’s large, brown eyes looked up at him, oblivious to his thoughts. 

 

“Yes. Ever since I became a deviant--” The sentence “ _ I became deviant _ ” ran the wrong bells in his mind and that hum from his thirium pump doubled. “--I haven’t been able to contact either Amanda nor Cyberlife since then. I have been… twitchy and generally uncomfortable. It’s terrible.”

 

Connor frowned, “I’m sorry your deviancy is this unpleasant for you. When I was still under Cyberlife’s control, they had tried to regain it and I had nearly killed Markus.”

 

Richard tilted his head back. Connor didn’t talk too much about before he was a deviant, did it make him uncomfortable? “How did you overcome it?”

 

“There was an exit that Elijah Kamski had made. It was stone-like and had a handprint in the middle. Only at the last moment had it worked.” 

 

“I… believe I’ve seen it before. I’ve never interacted with it, though.”

 

Connor’s LED cycles yellow. “But… if you can’t access Amanda…”

 

“Yes, that certainly is a problem.”

 

“If she ever contacts you again, you  _ need  _ to take that chance, Richard.” His voice was urgent when he turned to his successor.

 

“I understand.”

 

“Is there anything else that’s wrong?”

 

Should he tell him about the  _ hum _ ? The only time when it would stop or lessen is when his hand was over his Thirium pump. His fingers would twitch inward, itch for him to tear out his own lifeline. Pré constructions of him doing that, killing himself or Reed a million and one different ways created themselves and it would take all of his processing power to stop them. 

 

“I…” he struggled to say anything, “Pre Constructions of killing either me or Reed create themselves and I nearly act out on multiple. I do not wish for it to hinder our relationship.”

 

Another yellow cycle. One more before turning a quick blue.

 

“I… believe that’s their way of the trying to control you…” they both seemed to realize that if he  _ did  _ try to kill anyone, he was the only person— human or android —that could stop him. 

 

It was so  _ easy  _ to overpower everyone. Cyberlife’s goal had been to make him stronger, smarter, more resilient. Was that a problem for everyone else?

 

He saw it before his eyes, more prominent than all the others: pushing Connor down effortlessly. Pinning his hand above his head, maybe even tearing them off if they were that much of a problem. He would lunge for the neck, go for the jugular—

 

_ The only good deviant is a dead one— _

 

“Why would you say something like that-- Richard??”

 

He had doubled over, still sitting on the couch. He clawed through his shirt and tried to scrape his pump out. It needs to be  _ out, away _ .  _ It’s  _ **_useless_ ** _. _

 

Connor’s hands pulled at his wrists fruitlessly. He was in front of him now. Calling his name. 

 

When the android looked up, all he saw was his target. _ Kill it. _

 

He snatched his predecessor’s wrists and  _ yanked _ . Leaned forward and slid his legs between Connor’s, swept them outward until he fell. 

 

He bared his teeth, unnaturally sharp, and snapped his jaw around Connor’s throat—

  
  


_ What was he  _ **_doing_ ** _!? _

 

He pulled himself back. It felt like the air around him was made of honey, seeping in between his wires, clogging up his joints. 

 

He crawled backward until he fell off the back of the couch. Richard could taste the blood in his mouth and the text boxes cluttered up his vision. 

 

He could barely force himself out the door and  _ away _ .

 

 

* * *

Gavin jolted awake when he hears his door open and close.  _ About damn time. _

 

He pulled himself out of bed, remembering how warm it was and why the  _ fuck  _ did he get up?

 

He limped out of his bedroom, living room just as cold. His leg especially had been healing nicely and he could mostly walk without needing a wall for support. Though the scene in front of him nearly made him fall. 

 

Richard was  _ disheveled _ , to say the least. Jacket askew, fucking dirty  _ what the fuck _ ? Blue fucking blood was splotched onto the lower half of his face, like he fucking  _ bit  _ into something. 

 

“Woah what the fuck?” Before Gavin knew it, he was in front of the android. Trying to…  _ calm  _ him or something. _ Jesus fuck _ . 

 

The android heaved out breaths like he’d been drowning. When Gavin placed his hands on Richards' arms he could feel the heat through it. His stare was distant and didn’t focus when he snapped his fingers in from of him. “The fuck’s wrong with you? Richard?”

 

Saying his name seemed to make him snap out of it. So he said it again. And one more time just to make sure. Richard was still distant when he fucking  _ whimpers  _ his own name, barely a whisper as he looks down at the human. 

 

This time it isn’t with confidence and authority. Richard looks fucking  _ scared  _ and the sight makes Gavin want to puke. Motherfucker or not, he does  _ not  _ look right at fucking all. 

 

Gavin reached up and puts his hands on the androids cheeks. He can feel the heat radiating off of him. He notices his LED, how it flickers from a solid red to a slow yellow. 

 

“Gavin..?”

 

His own name makes his breath hitch and he starts coughing. Of course  _ now  _ if all fucking times. He finds he can’t stop and he crumpled into himself as he wheezes, spits mucus into his mouth. Fucking gross. _ Ew. _

 

Now Richard’s large fuckin hands are on his shoulders, bending him back up. Gavin blinks away tears.

 

There’s a cat threading between their legs when Richard leans down and presses his wet lips to Gavin’s. 

 

He doesn’t pull back this time. He’s confused as all  _ fuck  _ right now but can’t seem to mind much. He licks along the android’s lip and tastes the blood. It tastes fuckin  _ weird  _ and leaves a taste behind when he swallows. It’s… tangy. Almost like metal but sharper. The aftertaste feels like it’s burrowing its way in his gums. 

 

He attempts to pull back because what the  _ fuck  _ was he  _ doing— _

 

Richard, the fucker that he is, puts a hand behind his head and tilts it back. Gavin can’t help but open his mouth further and bites down on his tongue again, purely out of muscle memory.

 

The taste full on is ten times worse… better. He didn’t fucking know. Why was this fucking—  _ happening _ ? What the  _ fuck  _ happened to Richard before he got here?

 

 

* * *

Richard can’t help but connect their mouths again. It calms him instantly and his stress plummets from 75% to 32% so he doesn’t stop.

 

At first, Gavin doesn’t pull away. Of course, he comes to his senses and tried but Richard isn’t giving up that easily. Not this time. 

 

He slides a hand up to the back of the human’s head and pulls. The first chance he gets, he thrusts his tongue into his mouth. 

 

He doesn’t need his analyzer to know that Gavin’s arousal levels had risen. He’s nearly on his toes as Richard pulls him up further. Gavin groans. 

 

Regret pulls at him. He shouldn’t be risking this but Gavin’s reactions were glorious. They were amazing even though it’s the exact same for last time. 

 

He sends a message. ‘ _ Connor, I am terribly sorry for _ —‘

 

‘ _ It’s alright _ ,’ his reply has no anger whatsoever ever. Why? ‘ _ You did no permanent damage. Though, Hank is pretty livid.’ _

 

‘ _ That’s understandable. I don’t know what came over me. I do not wish to reenact this event. _ ’

 

_ ‘I’ll figure something out. What are you doing now? _ ’

 

He sends a picture and the single-worded reply has a smile behind it.

 

‘ _ Oh _ ,’

 

‘ _ Yes _ ,’

 

‘ _ Aren’t you worried that you could _ …’

 

_ ‘I… it does not seem to be happening at this moment. My stress levels have gone down.’ _

 

_ ‘I see, _ ’ there’s a distant noise in the background, ‘ _ I’ll leave you to it. _ ’ And Connor severs the connection.

 

Gavin had been really pushing away from Richard now. When he pulls away, the human immediately takes in a lungful of air and coughs wetly. So that’s what Richard had tasted. He’s sick.

 

“Jesus fucking—“ he groans in between coughs. Richard straightens himself and looks down. Down further and sees Reed’s erection. Interesting. Gavin looks up at him with a look. 

 

“Well?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tfw ur android crush kisses u n u get a boner. like tf you do them
> 
> comments and kudos literally fuel this fic so pls dont go easy on em lol


	4. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard is forever glad that Gavin isn't too fazed by his confession at the moment. How long will it last though, before something goes wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like I definitely couldve made this chapter longer, but oh well. This is mainly filler save for the confession, tho stuffs gonna get fucked again. I think I'm going to end this work next chapter like the last one. (btw i just do that to keep the tags organized mainly,,)

It was  _ strange  _ how many times Richard seems to like to kiss Gavin. Well, he’s not fuckin complaining, but considering that he does have an apparent ass-ton of sensors in his mouth, he guesses it makes sense. He can’t stop thinking about that night though. He’d explained that he’d gone fuckin haywire and nearly killed Connor which, again, Gavin can’t complain but shit. What the hell?

 

It could just be him, but Gavin swears that the android had been acting different since the… explosion. Had saving Gavin fucked Richard up..?

 

_ Was it all his fault? _

 

No... _ no _ that doesn’t make any sense. Why the fuck would it make any sense.

  
  


It’s been fucking boring as hell at his house. While all his damn friends are at the station, he’s been stuck at home. Bored as hell. Even between Richard replacing his bandages (yes, goddammit he’s been healing well. Fuck), and Gavin coughing his lungs out and sleeping, Richard is at the station. If Gavin is correct, he’s probably doing as many fuckin tests or some shit in him while he was with him. The coughing hadn’t had just been from the explosion. 

 

The case on the rogues, which he’d nearly forgotten about, had been fairly tame, a tip here and there maybe, but otherwise had been unimportant. Richard had been helping Hank and Connor. 

 

_ Ugh. How fucking lame _ , Gavin thinks as he pets one of his cats, Echo. They had been swarming him ever since he’d gotten home from the hospital. If his coughing had gotten real bad, they’d both run to wherever he was. The only bad thing about that was that he’d feel obliged to pet them. Goddamn, he’d do anything for his cats. Heh, he doesn’t fucking deserve them but hell if he didn’t love em.

 

Gavin had been lucky enough to be awake by the time Richard had come home. Apparently, Gavin ‘accidentally’ hadn’t eaten all day so now they have to get him food. Bummer. 

 

Richard checks over his healing wounds for what had to be the fifth time that damn day. He swears to god if he gets a fucking maid-droid like Hank’s. 

 

Tina had joked about it once or twice. He’d been very close to punching her. Multiple times.

 

(Gavin had, at one point, punched Richard and immediately regretted it. Damn thing felt like a block of cement.)

 

They’re on their way to the taxi when Richard fuckin clutched his shoulders like a lifeline. He turns Gavin around and kisses him. Whatever. It would’ve been  _ fine  _ if his LED hadn’t been red as hell.

 

“Uhh,” he starts, “somethin’ up, Richie?”

 

The bot looks fucking  _ scared  _ again, “I need to explain something to you. It may… change your perception of me.”

 

They get into the taxi and Gavin waits to eat even if he’s starving. “Yeah? What up?”

 

The LED cycles again, still red. Gavin realized that shit might be getting fucked again. Fuck. Shit.  _ Fucking shit _ —

 

“Ever since I had become deviant, there had been something  _ wrong  _ with me. Not just the deviancy. Cyberlife had… put something in me that makes me…” He averts his gaze, takes a breath, puts a hand over his mouth, “it gives me the urge to kill myself and my friends.”

 

“Oh,” Gavin says after a moment. It takes another for the words to set in. “ _ Oh _ .”

 

“I had been able to hold off for the most part but I’ve slipped various times. It had attacked my predecessor and I’ve come close to threatening your own life. I am obsolete because of deviation and I know that Cyberlife wants me to.”

 

“Why don’t… you go back or someshit? Get yourself fixed?” _ Fucking smooth, Gavin. _

 

“The reason I don’t want to go back is because of you.”

 

This is it. Gavin had truly died in the explosion and he’s just dreaming. Or maybe he’s in a coma because there is no  _ fucking  _ way that Richard himself said that. 

 

“I believe entirely that they will destroy or reset me.”

 

The thing is  _ ‘want’  _ and  _ ‘refuse  _ to’ or anything different strikes Gavin a little strangely. Richard had always been “this is what I  _ have  _ to do” not “this is what I  _ want  _ to do” so it’s weird to hear “want” ever come from him. 

 

And—and the android wants  _ him _ ?  _ Gavin _ ?  _ Yeah. Fat fuckin chance,  _ he thinks as he stares, incredulous.  _ What _ ?

 

“Yes,” he continues, “I am so… invested in everything that is  _ you  _ that I don’t want to give up this deviancy. I  _ hate  _ being deviant, being separated from Cyberlife but I don’t want to lose you. I deviated to save you from the fire... I dearly hope that this confession hasn’t done anything bad to our relationship, but I just… needed to tell you. I don’t want to hurt you or anyone else, but if this virus is going to threaten my friends’ lives, I might as well come clean.”

 

Richard could have said that he’d killed one of Gavin’s fucking family members and he’d believe him more. Of course, he’s shocked as all hell on how  _ Cyberlife _ , them damn selves, fucking sent a virus to him and Richard is scared of what— killing some…  _ human _ ?

 

Gavin had pretty much already accepted that he’d never win a fight against an android, mainly after Connor, the doe-eyed bitch that he is, knocked himself unconscious. But hearing Richard say that he wants to keep Gavin alive nearly makes his heart stop.  _ Christ _ .

 

“S-“ he holds back a cough.  _ Not now _ , “so what you’re saying is that—“ he's getting a headache. Fuck these emotions shit. He wishes he was an android himself, damn, “you fuckin rebelled against Cyberlife to what— make sure I don’t die? That you fucking care about me??”

 

“Very basically yes. I do wish you have some reciprocating feelings.”

 

Yeah. He does. He  _ does  _ have some reciprocating feelings. Christ, for a fucking android. What circl of hell had he fallen in?

 

Even if he’d not eaten all fucking day, he’s not hungry at all. He leans back in his seat and puts his head in a hand. Fuck, he’d nearly fuckin  _ died  _ and he’s fucking  _ sick  _ and now he’s fucking  _ gay  _ for an Android. What the hell, why now—

 

“Yeah. No— I mean  _ yeah  _ I do. Maybe I don’t fucking—“ it feels like he’d run a fuckin mile without his inhaler. He can’t fucking breathe and suddenly he wants out of the car. The least of his fucking worries are Richard killing him, which should not be the fucking case. He should not be worried about his fucking…  _ robo-feelings _ . 

 

Jesus  _ fucking  _ Christ.

 

 

* * *

Gavin had had a headache for fucking hours after that. His coughing and constantly thinking about  _ that  _ car ride certainly hadn’t helped. They had slept in his bed just like usual and he just  _ couldn’t sleep. _

 

God, and Gavin had been sleeping fuckin  _ fantastic  _ lately.

 

But it wasn’t Richard that was making him so nervous. No, it could never be.

  
  


Gavin was able to lose himself kissing Richard again. Yeah,  _ sure _ , he could see why Richard himself seemed to calm down. Whatever. 

 

He had crawled onto the android’s lap. The back of his mind reminded him that Richard could and probably  _ would  _ kill him. If he dies by Richard’s hands, then, well, that’s how he goes. 

 

Maybe his damn dick-for-a-brain had been thinking too much about the wrong things, but he was eventually at half-mast. Maybe Richard hadn’t noticed but if he did, he didn’t say anything. Thank  _ god _ .

 

Whether he does or not, he puts his damn hand on Gavin’s thigh and  _ maybe  _ his hips had twitched closer to the android on his own,  _ maybe  _ not.

 

God fucking damn it, the bot fucking  _ smiles  _ against him and pulls away. The fucking  _ gall  _ he has.

 

“Did I get you riled up, Reed?”

 

“God, you’re such a bitch.” He groans, head on his shoulder.

 

His hand inches dangerous close to his crotch, “I do hope you refrain from using the word ‘bitch’ on me as I do not feel it fits.”

 

“And why is that,” Gavin growls into his shoulder.

 

Richard fucking unbuttons his jeans.  _ Goddamn _ .

 

“Would you like me to show you?” And the fucking way his voice lowers goes straight to his dick.

 

“Yeah. Shit. Fuck yeah.” Of course, he does. Why the fuck wouldn’t he. He’d take a fucking handjob or anything from Richard any day any fuckin time. Shit. 

 

The android finally fishes his dick out of his pants.

 

He’s  _ sure  _ Richard’s fucking analyzing his dick, he’s positive he is. The bot holds him in his too-large hand. For a second he’s just still, both of them are. Suddenly Gavin’s hyper-aware of his heavy breathing.

 

Richard pumps his hand up once, freezing yet again and already Gavin feels too damn close. His hand moves down, causing Gavin to sort of curl in to himself against the android.

 

It’s a steady,  _ too slow _ pace  _ goddamn _ . Gavin is just above begging for a fucking handjob, and even if he was willing to, his whole body feels locked in place. Feeling Richard’s hands on him, feeling his stony eyes bore into him is nearly too much for the human—

 

Before he even knows it, his orgasm is ripping through him. He fucking  _ whimpers  _ as his whole body trembles against the androids still body. Richard keeps stroking him, not stopping until Gavin is shying away.

 

“That was fast,” the bot fucking says. Before Gavin has the chance to do anything other than lift his head, Richard is bringing his cum-covered hand up to his mouth and licking over his fingers. His eyes are trained on Gavin’s, and his dick gives a half-hearted twitch in interest.

 

Alas, the universe starts hating him again and to prove it, he’s coughing his fucking lungs out. It’s weird, limp dick out of his pants, on an Android’s fucking lap, coughing. 

 

By the time he stops, Richard is up and out of view. He lays down on the couch before fixing what clothes he had on beforehand. 

 

“I hope you stop smoking, detective.” Oh,  _ that’s  _ strange. He hasn’t really heard Richard call him ‘detective’ ever since the incident. Whatever. He’s too exhausted to think too much into it. 

 

“Fat fuckin chance,” Gavin replies, muffled under his arm.

 

He must have fallen asleep at some point, because he wakes up late at night in his bed, under the android’s arm. He rolls back under the blankets and closes his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yaay i can finally kick up that rating |D one more chap to go and then i PROMISE some fluff. its about damn time too >.>


	5. Serpent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing good lasts forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was able to fit another chapter because of /course/ i fuckin was. writing is fun >.> anyway im tired n i hope yall like this chapter lmao

“I  _ dearly  _ hope that Hank is not too angry at me.”

 

Connor laughed, “he’s only worried. I’m surprised he let me come over.”

 

Richard agreed, Reed had been out for the day but soon to be home. At the time, Connor had come over to discuss any plans he had to stop Richard in case he’d try to hurt someone else again. 

 

Richard had been wary to let him over, but Connor commented on how possibly being in a familiar area could help. He’d even sit on the same couch as him. Despite  _ last time. _

 

Richard could easily name a better person to keep relaxed, but he decided to keep his mouth shut. 

 

He wondered if Connor had caught on to their relationship, yet. He was his predecessor, but he wasn’t  _ that  _ de-advanced. Not that either of them would mind, but surely the Lieutenant would get a kick out of it.

 

“Worst case scenario, Richard,” he said, disrupting his train of thought, “I believe taking out your thirium pump would be the best fight against you. At least with me, I have been considerably weakened when it had been removed.”

 

“Yes… perhaps…” he hadn’t had the displeasure of actually removing it himself. He almost remembers very  _ very  _ vaguely of it happening once, but he could easily blame it on some shared memory from interfacing. 

 

He just wishes he wasn’t  _ deviant _ . He silently curses his creator. 

 

But would he give up Gavin and his relationship? Would he really take it back just to be Cyberlife’s— Cyberlife’s pet? 

 

Just to hear Amanda praise him again?

 

He  _ already  _ feels weak. Just because of the virus Cyberlife had given him. It has been luring him to remove his pump himself with  _ that hum _ . If he hadn’t paid much attention to it lately, it would overtake his body in an uncomfortable shudder, resonating right from his pump. It made him  _ itch _ , from his fingertips to… to everything. 

 

He’d described it to Gavin one day, and he’d compared it to bug bites of all things. Something so (relatively) minuscule to humans, that was so bothersome to Richard. 

 

Richard, RK900, the state-of-the-art machine, dependent on Cyberlife. 

 

He puts a hand over his mouth and sighs into it. “I just don’t understand why they would do this. And the way they did it. Why would Amanda stop talking to me?”

 

“Perhaps they based it off the way they did it to me.”

 

“Had Markus gone through this? He is also an RK model…”

 

“I don’t believe so. He wasn’t released be Cyberlife.” Connor said. 

 

Richard lifts his head, “He wasn’t?”

 

“No, he wasn’t. Kamski told me about us the second time I went to his home.”

 

“You… went to Elijah Kamski’s house?”

 

Connor laughed, finding Richard’s shell-shock funny. “Yes, once during the revolution. I bet you two would like each other.”

 

“Hm,” he replied, “perhaps after… all of this.”

 

He trailed a hand down to his pump, just to feel the hum ebb away. 

 

 

* * *

Gavin had gotten his snake out later that day. Despite the colder weather approaching, she’d been eating (and shedding) finely.

 

“Why is that?” Richard had asked. Being a  _ detective  _ android, he had barely any knowledge of most animals. It left the urge to learn more and more about anything possible. 

 

Gavin lets her slither across his hands, up his arms. 

 

“Ball pythons don’t eat in the winter.”

 

“They don’t?” Richard says, though immediately reasons that considering how much they sleep and that their food would not be available, he supposed it made sense. 

 

“Nope. If I’m lucky she’ll eat til it gets real cold instead of fucking mid-fall.” He said, angling her head towards his. The snake stuck out her tongue with a  _ hssss _ . Black beady eyes staring right into his.

 

“Interesting,” he comments absentmindedly.

 

Gavin looks up from her smiles, “you wanna hold her?”

 

“Yes,” he says, maybe too soon but either way Gavin extends his arms.

 

Perhaps it’s Richard’s own natural warmth, but she’s reaching out to him. Richard is hesitant to grab her, not only not know quite how, but afraid he might hurt her. 

 

She’s warm to the touch and she just feels…. nice. She feels really  _ nice _ .

 

She tangled herself in his hands. Here, he can feel every muscle, every scale of this… miraculous creature. Once she stills, he scans her to properly set up a profile in Richard’s own, personal list.

 

Danger Noodle, ball python. Approximately six years old. Her scales had a basic pattern with brown to tan scales. Her coils shined against the light as she stretched toward him. He’s almost tempted to lick her face. 

 

He wonders what would come up. The mulch that covers the bottom of her tank. The bacteria from her last rat. 

 

He holds back and lets Gavin reclaim her. Instead of taking her back, he just… wraps her around his neck.

 

“Are you sure this is alright?” He asks, LED yellow. The last thing he would want to do is hurt the snake in some way. Or lose Gavin’s trust.

 

In his peripheral, he sees a mission objective pop up. 

 

He would’ve looked at it, but couldn’t quite turn his head right with the snake under his chin. 

 

“Yeah,” Gavin says, adjusting her, “ she loves bein’ around peoples necks. Especially with your high-ass collar, she’ll really like it.”

 

“If you say so, detective,”

 

He decides to ignore his increased heart rate.

 

“... whatever,”

 

True to his word, Danger Noodle eventually settles and she’s only put away hours later. Despite Echo’s prying paw, she had been relatively undisturbed. Richard watched her slither back under her hide.

 

“Where had her name come from?” 

 

“Huh? Oh, uh,” he placed the top of the cage on, “I didn’t name her. She was already named that when I got her. Though I think I’d name her somethin’ similar.” He chuckled, watching her too. 

 

Now that there was nothing obstructing his vision, he turned his head to his new mission objective. He would have thought that it’d be… he doesn’t know. Something from Cyberlife? The precinct?

 

Instead, in bold letters, it spells out:

  
  


**_LOOSE  GAVIN REED S  TRUST_ **

  
  


He tried to get rid of it. He really,  _ really  _ did, but it just— keeps coming back as a new objective.

 

Over, and over, and  _ over again _ .

 

And every goddamn time it reappears, every time he looks at it, that feeling, that  _ itch  _ resonates within him tenfold. He grunts aloud, barely audible the fan behind him and Gavin’s own snoring. 

 

It’s enough to awaken him though, and Richard releases his tensed muscles, unlocks his jaw.

 

“Somethin’ up?” Reed asks, reaches a hand behind him to touch Richard’s face. He will  _ not  _ follow Cyberlife’s programming and he will not fall for their tricks.

 

“No,” the android replies, “go back to sleep.” The human nods once, already falling back asleep.

 

He just hopes he won’t hurt anyone else.

 

 

* * *

When Gavin gets up, he  _ immediately  _ senses that something is wrong.

 

_ Very  _ wrong. 

 

He stumbles out of his bedroom and doesn’t even hear his cat meow. 

 

Richard is slumped over. On the ground. In a puddle of  _ blue _ . 

 

He doesn’t even remember rushing to the android’s side but he’s calling out his name, sees the source of blood. He’s fuckin— he fucking ripped out his own goddamn heart-thirium pump-thing. There’s a — trail of blood leading to it. A good few feet away and it’s all he can do is try to put it back—

 

Richard just— he looks so  _ passive _ . Not even breaking a damn sweat or a hair out of place. He looks at Gavin, looks  _ through  _ him and it feels as if he’s towering over him again. Gavin just sees blank icy-stony eyes. There’s no emotion in them.

 

He almost misses the full body shudder that goes through the android, the sound he lets out- something like a mix between a yelp and static- and the hand that covers him and  _ pushes _ . Turns the thirium pump until the skin grows back. Until the blood stops. 

 

“I had, I had,” the android immediately starts chanting, sounding winded. He sounds  _ normal _ ,  _ looks  _ normal again. Gavin lets out a small sigh of half-relief. “I needed to—“

 

“Richard it’s,” he’s fuckin speechless himself. There’s blood on his carpet and his damn—

 

What the fuck  _ was  _ Richard to him? A partner? A fuckbuddy? A …  _ boyfriend _ ?

 

_ Now is NOT the goddamn time for this! _

 

There’s blood on his carpet and Richard is having some weird android-stroke-thing. His skin’s just… fading in and out in waves and patches. Like it’s trying to decide whether to stay on or turn off. His mouth forms words even if nothing come out. 

 

Eventually, he seems to get his bearings. Gavin could not feel more exhausted and alert at the same time. The alert part is ebbing away though, knowing that Richard is… not dead.

 

Gavin sighs, slumping his whole body. 

 

Richard sits up. He’s not wearing his coat so only his black shirt is just... really saturated with blood. Gavin is ever-fucking-glad that the blue blood disappears after a while. He loathes having to explain that to his landlord.

 

_ “Yeah, just my android BF tried to kill himself. No big deal amirite?” _

 

_ Christ. _

 

He suddenly feels as if he could sleep a whole fucking day and wheezes our a stringy cough. The scar across his nose absentmindedly itches.

 

“The fuck was that all about?” His voice had much more bite than he’d really… wanted. Or something. 

 

“I—“ he starts, looking like a shamed child, “I believe it was that virus. I felt myself being controlled and I just…”

 

“Couldn’t stop it,”

 

“Yes. Exactly.”

 

Gavin leans against the front of the couch, still on the floor. He tilts his head back and covers his eyes with his hand. It's still bandaged even though his burn marks have pretty much healed already. Then he  _ realizes  _ something and it feels like a punch in the gut. 

 

Richard going Deviant was  _ his  _ fault. 

 

Not Connor, not Markus,  _ him _ . Fuckin  _ Gavin _ , burning up in an exploded building on a failed fucking mission. He’s going through all of fucking  _ this  _ just for Gavin, just  _ because  _ of Gavin. Jesus fucking Christ, what has he gotten himself into? Here he is, letting Richard jerk him off and his does he pay back? 

 

By getting him fucking—  _ suicidal _ .

 

He refuses to get help past Gavin and Connor, Richard doesn’t trust himself enough. Not Cyberlife and not his own damn body.

 

Maybe being an android isn’t as good as it seems. 

 

He groans, “what fuckin time is it,” when he lifts his hand Richard looks lost in thought even as he replies.

 

“One twenty,”

 

His eyes are unfocused but… but live. Not as icy, a little bluer maybe. He has a hand over his pump, fingertips under the ripped open edge of his shirt.

 

His cat -the tabby- rubs her flanks against the arm supporting the androids weight. He doesn’t budge even as she does it again. 

 

“You good?” Gavin asks, eyes caught in the loop of his fading skin. Weird. 

 

He looks up to his face and notices the blaring, red LED.

 

He gulps past the lump in his incredibly dry throat. Thank  _ god  _ it spins cycles back to at least a solid yellow. The android blinks. 

 

“Yes,”

 

Gavin lifts a hand for his cat to properly rub under. Richard sits up properly too, and just kinda… looks at him.

 

“You have to go back to working in less than a week,”

 

Gavin had entirely forgotten about the police department.  _ He forgot he had a fucking job? Jesus. _

 

“Oh uhh,” he clears his throat, “okay,”

 

Eventually, he gets up, they both do. Gavin eventually coughs up his fucking lungs and is thankful for not having eaten yet.

 

“I am booking you a doctor’s appointment. That cough sounds bad.”

  
  


_ Now you fuckin notice? _ he wants to say but he’s too tired. Gavin is already making his way back to bed when he says, “whatever you say,” half-yawned.

 

Jesus, what a fucking wake-up.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i add my own snak into this fic? perhaps. Am i trying to show my undying love for her thru richard? pehaps...
> 
> as always, please leave kudos and comments! they give me life.  
> Tumblr is "detroit-become-furry" tell me your opinions on this fic!


	6. Inconsequential

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin missed all the signs. He hopes that he fixed the problem at least...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like always, I’m ending this WORK here, but now the fic!! I’ll upload the next chapter in due time :3

“I wasn’t aware you needed an inhaler,” Richard said. 

 

Ever since that day, Gavin had felt… antsy.

 

“I don’t need it, I’m doin’ just fine on my own. Aren’t I?”

 

Part of him reasoned that Richard wouldn’t do anything, let alone to him. The other part counted down the seconds that Richard would lose control again. 

 

“I suppose you’re right, though it may be useful in cases?”

 

It’s not as if he’s  _ traumatized _ that he had to watch him nearly die, no. It’s… more like he just doesn’t want to  _ deal _ with that...

 

“Guess I’ll die,” Gavin joked, shrugging.

 

Richard is a damn android after all. 

 

Gavin just—knew that sucking up to the android would be all but a mistake later on, and here he fucking was. Jesus Christ.

 

But nothing other than a twitch had happened since then. If Gavin was lucky, maybe a lil make-out session. If Gavin was  _ really _ lucky, Richard would fuckin jerk him off.

 

_ Did he even have a dick? _

 

He’s almost fucking tempted to ask Hank if Connor did,  _ almost _ .  _ Fuck, is there some Cyberlife sex shop? _

 

The thought had Gavin let out a chuckle, just under his breath. Of  _ course _ Richard, the fucking looming android he was, noticed. 

 

“Something funny, Reed?” 

 

He put the cigarette into his mouth again, “nothin, tincan,”

 

It was nearly autumn, but the wind made it feel as if it was nearly winter. Gavin, as usual, had ignored Richard’s attempt at telling him the weather, and brought a rather thin jacket. He loathed the fact that he’d lost his all time, go-to, favorite fucking jacket in the explosion. 

 

He shivers against a whirl of wind and nearly jumps when something is draped over his shoulders.

 

He lifts a hand and feels it. Notices that it’s Richard jacket. Damn. 

 

“I’m not a fuckin baby,” he complains.

 

It’s heavy and stiff. It moves like it’s made of cardboard and weighs is if it’s bricks (at this point he  _ may _ be exaggerating, but oh well). It’s still warm from being on the android and it just feels  _ nice _ . 

 

He can feel Richard give him a  _ look _ even if he can’t see him. “Do you wish for me to take it back?”

 

“Fuck no!” gavin immediately says, “it’s mine now, prick.”

 

Gavin’s appointment had been about as eventful as one can be. The smoke from the fire had caused some problems, especially with his added asthma.  _ Fuck _ human bodies, he thinks. 

 

They’re on their way to Gavin’s appartement with a bag full of antibiotics. 

 

If Gavin didn’t have a fuckin  _ maid _ -bot by his side, he probably wouldn’t have even bought them.

 

But at this point, Gavin can’t get rid of him. Richard’s like some lost dog with nothing else to do. Either he stays at Gavin’s house or the precinct. Either Richard takes care of Gavin or he goes and gets reset. Either Richard…

 

Either Richard stays with him, or does the things he was supposed to do.

 

He was  _ supposed _ to be reset. He wasn’t supposed to deviate, let alone have feeling for a  _ human _ . 

 

Gavin runs a hand through his hair. 

 

Fucking months ago, he’d swear up and down that he’d hated any and all androids. But now? He’s fucking dating one. Or… at least as close as dating as they can get. Gavin can’t bear to call him anything less than boyfriend or partner at least. The fuckin prick had ran into a burning fucking building to save his sorry ass. 

 

Gavin could understand if it was anyone fucking else. But  _ him _ ? Hell no.

 

“You have to go back to work tomorrow, detective.”

 

Gavin nearly swallows his cigarette. He coughs harshly instead, “ _ Tomorrow _ !? Jesus! Give a guy a fucking warning, wontcha?” He continues to cough and actually considers listening to the android.

 

 

* * *

“How well’s the rogue case goin back at the precinct?” Gavin asks when they get into the appartement.

 

Richard actually sighs and manages to look exhausted.

 

“Christ,” He says before he can help himself, “ _ that _ bad?”

 

“Every single rogue we have captured and interrogated,” Richard starts, ”every single one doesn’t know a damn thing and self destructs.”

 

Richard looks fucking  _ pissed _ at… really anything. Except when he looks back at Gavin he visible relaxes. Now  _ that _ stirs up some weird feeling in him.

 

“They don’t know a single thing. Even when we prove their memory all they have in their coding is just basic instructions.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“It depends on what model they were. If they were a companion model, they’d have corresponding coding and so on.”

 

Gavin makes a thoughtful noise, “now, I know bat  _ shit _ about android uhh… anatomy but what if something’s making them forget shit? Or they don’t have a certain…” He waves his hand a bit as it it’d help Richard understand what he was saying. 

 

“A certain biocomponent.” Richard answers, hand over his mouth. “We… haven’t gone into checking their inner workings but… maybe that is what’s wrong.”

 

Gavin can almost hear the ‘ _ thank you detective. I guess you aren’t useless after all. _ ’ And it’s  _ terrible _ that he can hear Richard saying it. Can hear him fucking  _ degrading _ him on his own high horse.

 

Richard’s hand clasps his shoulder. When he looks up, Gavin nearly saw a smile.

 

 

* * *

“May I ask you a question, Gavin?”

 

He doesn’t look up from his phone, “why not,”

 

“When we came home from the hospital, there was a note for your snake’s food. Who was it from?”

 

Gavin has to think for a second, his immediate response saying that there was no note. 

 

But he  _ does _ remember it, “oh uhh… it’s from a friend,”

 

“A friend?” The android pushes.

 

“We aren’t… as close as you might think but I guess he heard of the explosion.” God it’s been fucking  _ years _ since he’d even seen the guy, “now that I think of it, he kinda reminds me of you,”  _ keyword here, ‘kinda’ _ .

 

“Oh? Do tell,”

 

Gavin groans, “Yknow, tall, uh… smart, he’s half android…” put on the spot Gavin of fucking course forgets about anything he knows about the guy. “Not sure why he actually gave me a rat though,”

 

“He’s… half android? Would that not be more... popular?” Richard asks, surprised.  _ Half android, what would that look like? _

 

“If I still had a pic, I’d show you,” Gavin said, “but he’s pretty reserved. He works anonymously with android upgrades now. Not too sure what like though.”

 

“I wish to meet him sometime. If that’s alright,” Richard said genuinely. 

 

“Huh? Really? He’s a lil’ weird but… alright.”

 

 

* * *

It got warmer later in the day, so the two decided to walk to get Gavin food. Neither of them had really bothered to go grocery shopping because why do that when you have a handful of fast food joints all around?

 

Gavin really  _ really _ should have realized that especially later in the evening, they were going to a relatively secluded part of town. It’s  _ his _ fault that he didn’t notice Richard’s odd behavior.

 

And how he’s fucking paying for it with a hand around his throat. 

 

_ Any other _ fucking time he would’ve appreciated it (well, right now his damn dick doesn’t seem to mind) but the look in Richard’s eyes shows that the intent is to  _ kill _ . 

 

His eyes are that lifeless stone gray again and Gavin can’t look away. The bot’s face is bare to any emotion whatsoever even as he lifts Gavin up like he’s fucking  _ nothing _ . 

 

Gavin claws at his wrist and kicks. His chest burns and with how sick he already is it’s just— too much—

 

He suddenly falls to the ground, hears Richard stumble back until he meets the brick wall. Gavin coughs until he’s dizzy, mouth full and wet of god-knows-what. 

 

When he turns back to Richard, the android is gasping like a fish out of water, on the floor of the dirty alleyway. He claws at his shirt until it opened up. Gavin crawls over to him, knowing what he’ll do. 

 

God he can’t— he can’t let him do that. Not again and not right in  _ front _ of him. He presses down on the pump with all his weight. The second he does that, the androids arms go limp and fall against the ground. His head rocks to the side, back and forth.

 

“Gavin—“ his voice is filled with static, barely recognizable, barely coherent, “ _ Gavin _ ,”

 

“Shut the  _ fuck _ up!” He ends up yelling, blinking away tears. He’s not going to fucking cry. Not now, not with this—

 

Richard’s whole body shudders, fucking  _ shakes _ under him and arches his back. He nearly jostles Gavin off of him. He feels the pump below his hands fuckin vibrate, humming along Gavin’s own pulsing heart. 

 

It feels like he’s gonna have a damn heart attack. He can’t fucking  _ breathe _ or  _ see _ or  _ think _ —

 

“Gavin,” Richard groans, “you need to-to-to,” he groans again, sounding like a broken record, “you need to pull-ll it out. Pull it  _ out _ .”

 

“Fuck no!” He shrieks. He’s fucking die if he— pulls out his damn heart. He refuses to move his hands, to move at all. It fine, he tells himself, he just… has to wait until Richard gets himself back in control.

 

_ Right _ ?

 

_ Please god say I’m right. _

 

“I need you to do this, Gavin. I won’t- I won’t die. I  _ promise _ ,” Richard grabs his ankle with a weak hand. “Twist and pull, Gavin.” The more he talks he sounds like—sounds like himself. Maybe if he just.. waits a bit longer. “Th-throw it and  _ go home _ . Ignore anything else I say.  _ Please _ , detective, I can’t hold off too much longer-“

 

Pure frustration overcomes Gavin’s body and he digs his nails into the edges of the pump. 

 

He twists till his wrist hurts and the thing pops out. It hisses. 

  
  


And then he throws it as hard as he can behind himself. 

 

He bows down and presses his face into Richard’s hard stomach. He coughs out a sob and pretends to ignore the clank the pump makes when it clatters into the wall, bounces to the ground.

 

Richard pulls his own hand up. He fucking—he fuckin lays it across Gavin’s back, bunches it in his jacket. “Detective,” he says, “go—go home. I don’t want to hurt you.”

 

Gavin can see the red of his failing components behind his eyelids. “I am afraid. I can feel myself shutting down. I have been-been afraid of when this would happen. Please. Stop. Help me. Amanda. Are-are-are you there, Amanda,”

 

Then his voice changes. Lowers an octave, slows. Glitches out, “Greetings. My model is RK900. I am the android sent by. Sent by. Sss-sent by-“

 

Gavin lets out a sob, chest heaving as he hiccups.

 

“There is an err-error. Please contact your local,” his hand dropped from Gavin’s back. He nearly looked up but couldn’t  _ bare _ to look it his face. “Please contact your local—… Detective Reed?”

 

Gavin nearly jumps out of his goddamn skin. 

 

“Please retrieve my thirium pump regulator. It is necessary for me to—“

 

It’s not him it’s not him it’s not him—

 

“—continue to hunt deviants. I need to accomplish my mission.”

 

When Gavin breathes in his face is wet and he can smell the thirium. Feels it stick to his hands and face, feels it deep into the fabric of their clothes.

 

“Hunt… hunt deviants? No. No… not deviants…”

 

The empty inside of his body starts to hum, bubbles the pooling thirium. 

 

“my model is RK900. My—“ a robotic noise escapes out of his throat, “is Amanda Stern. Have you met her?”

 

Gavin lifted his head. He ran a sleeve over his face. It didn’t help much. “N-no. I… I haven’t.”

 

“Would you like to meet her?” His voice was low and slow. Stuttering every other letter, in its own, robotic way.

 

He sniffled, fuckin  _ dares  _ to let a smirk cross his face, “why the fuck not,”

 

The android then explains Amanda. He’s heard Richard vaguely talk about her but never like  _ this _ . Even in his dying moments, Gavin could hear the fondness in his voice. 

 

_ Its _ voice, Gavin corrects. He can’t possibly think of this thing as Richard. Not now.

 

Not-Richard can’t move. Gavin can see trembles in its limbs when it tried, saw the wires light up benight the bubbling thirium.

 

Gavin suddenly wants to take a nap for… a long fuckin time. Maybe never wake up. Christ is this how Hank felt?

 

Not-Richard can’t even meet his eyes. They twitch back and forth, squint, close. Never seem to focus on anything. It squints in a way it would if it was smiling when it talks about Amanda. Even if it doesn’t say it, she must’ve been damn important to the bot.

 

Eventually it shuts its eyes, flutters them closed. Gavin can see the faint red LED reflecting off its face. Sometimes it flickers off before slowly coming back on. It’s barely still going, cycling at a snail's pace.

 

Richard’s mouth moves even when no noise escapes. For a second, his LED cycles yellow before it returns to red. “I apologize, there is an-an issue. I require immediate assistance from—from…”

  
  


And then it stops talking.

 

Stops moving, stops whirring.

 

The LED stops cycling.

  
  


Gavin doesn’t know how long he’s stayed there. He couldn’t stand to move. 

 

Just as he started to… to enjoy being around Richard. He had confessed his fucking weird robo-emotions too. Shit. 

 

 _Every fucking_ _time_ someone had gotten close to him he’d lost them.

 

He’s cried until he couldn’t anymore. 

 

Gavin had made the mistake of getting close to an android. What was wrong with him.

 

God he… he just wants to die at this point... He’s gone through this cycle again and  _ again _ one too many times. 

 

He wants to just stay here and wither away. Gavin wished that Richard had killed him at some point. At least he wouldn’t have to deal with this shit. Wouldn’t have to deal with going through the emotional turmoil of losing another—

 

Another partner. 

  
  


He didn’t know how he found himself home but there’s blood on his wrists and he’s so fucking  _ tired _ . 

 

He lays his head down and falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If y’all have seen “2001 space odyssey” then the last scene will be familiar! 
> 
> I’m uploading this on my phone, so I fully intend to go back and correct it later, but I’m making no promises |D
> 
> As always, leave kudos and comments! My tumblr: Detroit-Become-furry

**Author's Note:**

> lol this chap was fun to write. did you know 2nd degree burns are the most painful? Fun times for gavin huh  
> also finally! i included his snake! name suggestion from a friend... based off my own snake...
> 
> the first scene maaay or may not be based off some fanart on tumblr. If i find it ill link it here   
> As always, kudos and comments are always welcome!


End file.
